Disheartened about conventional church

Lately, going to church has become disheartening and depressing. I will never be good enough to go and listen to the word of God. Now I am feeling that I am not even good enough to accept communion. We were told to partake in communion if you know you aren't going back and partake in some sinful act. Of course I am going to sin. I know that. Conventional church makes me feel bad about myself. I am sinful and can't be part of church anywhere. Part of me thinks it is the voice of Satan telling me that. But if that is true, why do ministers make me feel that way?

Today my devotion and a sermon by Joyce Meijers helped me most. Joyce said "what you believe is what you;re going to have". My devotion was about how loving God is to us always, in spite of what our world or our emotions sometimes tell us.

The following is from a dialogue with myself and counselor:

Why does Isiah tell us not to focus on emotions?

Good Q Cali. "Those kinds of verses have been overused in dismissing emotions. The fruit of the Spirit stems from joy and emotional regulation and health. When I see something that dismisses emotional intelligence I know that it’s either taken out of context or supposed to be a balancing statement between logic and emotion. If it doesn’t make sense to you I think it’s a good thing to just leave it alone. Keep your heart focused on being in joy in God’s love." Sharon Kuhn