Grief is a normal stage and process to a major loss

Grief is a normal stage and process to a major loss. It may become more complicated when mixed with negative emotions such as anger, guilt, estrangement and loss of identity.

Anger is no cause for shame. It is a legitimate human emotion. It is good to figure out exactly the cause of anger. It would be best to act it out in a constructive way. Physical exercise and crying are a good way to release these feelings. Talking it out with others also helps. Praying and/or meditating also helps. After a close family member died, I went back to the Y to teach my yoga class the following week and even worked on a few clients. Dr. Kachmann invited me to be his guest on his TV show. I was kept somewhat busy. What hurt the most was that other friends/people seemed to avoid me. Maybe they didn't know what to say. I avoided social media like Facebook, LinkedIn, e-mails, etc... It would've been great if I had a friend to talk it out with. But I didn't. Although my sisters, parents, and husband were somewhat of a support system. They couldn't be with me all the time. They have their families and lives.

Guilt is another feeling that is normal during grief. Many feel "if only I had this or that differently" is also part of the grieving process. If there is real reason for guilt, forgive yourself. Talking it out helps to lessen the impact of unreal guilt. A counselor helped me see things objectionably.

Once the funeral is over, people seem to avoid survivors for many reasons. This is the time when we need to talk, but the avoidance of friends causes the mourner to withdraw. They feel estranged.

Staying to busy and being constantly on the go is not good either. Facing the pain diminishes it and removes the need for running away from it.

Loss of identity is a loss within a loss. This is a time to search for a new identity to help you live a fruitful life.