The past few months have been tough

The past few months have been really tough ones on me emotionally, physically and mentally. My sister died unexpectedly in Feb. She and I had a few similar characteristics. The common denominator was insecurity. My inability to manage my emotions effectively left me with feelings of emptiness and digging myself into a deeper hole of loneliness and lack of self worth. I struggle with those feelings daily. I am not one to stay in those dark places. I have many outlets to free myself from that bondage; taking a brisk walk, practicing yoga, anointing myself with essential oils, reciting affirmations, and simply keeping myself busy.

When I remember one of my favorite scriptures in the Bible, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me", I am free from the bondage of one of the most terrible emotions, fear. There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfect in love. We love, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:18-19, RSV). I am making every effort to live according to God’s will. How can I be afraid when God is walking beside me, and my thoughts, actions, and deeds align with His teachings, which bring meaning to my life? It is time for me to stand up for myself and speak with confidence that I have something to say of importance. Even though it is in my character to be introverted, I am always learning to be more extroverted and to stand up for myself. I have enjoyed pushing myself forward in spite of my limitations. But it is hard at times. Then I have to realize that I have to lean on my Father in heaven for guidance and direction for every thought and action.

My sister was very outgoing and extroverted. On the surface she seemed to be perfect and have the perfect life, and it made me angry that I couldn't be that way. I have come to realize and accept we were very different but unique in our own ways.

I pray to the Lord;

Help me to become more accepting that everything will be alright, and accept the things I cannot change

Help me to become more loving and lovable

Help me live today to it's fullest

Let your light shine in me to make it the driving force in my life

Help me be grateful when I am feeling good and graceful when I am feeling bad

Help me to live in faith