The Early Years

I was raised on a farm in northwestern Ohio. We had horses,cattle, a few pigs, chickens, a dog, and cats. Growing up on the farm taughtme how to work hard and beself-sufficient. My parents gavemy sisters and I each our ownhousehold responsibilities. Karendid the cleaning, Carol mowed,and I cooked and baked. We alltook turns helping Dad plow,disk, and seed the fields. Living in the country, I wasisolated from playing with kidsmy own age. I occupied my timewith household chores, day-dreaming about boys, and pretending I was someone I wasn’t. And, I often had to play alone and create my own fun without the camaraderie of my sisters. I was older and they considered me mean and bossy. So I climbed pine trees with my baby dolls, pretending I was going on far-away trips with a “make-believe” baby sister who wanted to play with me. My sister’s were afraid of me, but I was really lonely. Our parents were strict and disciplined us for our bad behavior. One time in particular, I remember running away from my mother to avoid being punished for using bad language. I ran to my grandparents’ house, which was about 300 yards from our home. My grandparents protected me from her—at least, that’s what I thought at the time.Not long after that, my mother organized a demerit program for all of her girls. Carol, the youngest at that time, received the most demerits. She fit a certain stereotype of the youngest child: the clown who wants to be taken seriously, but nevertheless often finds herself in trouble because she likes attention. Carol felt satisfied as long as she got attention; it didn’t matter if it was positive or negative.